Look at yourself in the mirror. When you look from the viewpoint the original sprite is from, you can hardly see your neck, and if you were wearing armour with large pauldrons, you wouldn't see it all.

The fact you're using the original face, and changing the overall look so much makes it look poor.

Also, your dithering with the red doesn't work. The colours Mack used on the original sprite were there to create the sense of depth and shadow, whereas yours just look random.